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Sunday, 31 July 2016

Diary of a Sankwas girl- 28 and unmarried

Mothers have good intentions for our lives, of course they do. Sometimes the way that this is communicated however, might not always be the way we want to hear it.
According to my mother I can’t possibly have a great life because I am unmarried and always at the gym. 

At 28 I reckon she imagined I would be signed, sealed and delivered to the highest bride price bidder.  Also popping out babies she would no doubt spoil with lots of love and affection.
In her own words ‘What kind of life is this?’

For me, currently it’s a life I’m working hard towards being immensely proud of, a life where I make the rules and do the things that I genuinely want to do.

It’s a life where I’m unlearning all the things women at my age are told to expect and want and desire. A life where I’m learning that life is truly exciting and I can choose what happens to me. I’d soon found myself in a relationship that was no longer fulfilling, it promised a future which I wasn’t happy to subscribe to.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the worst relationship and at times I was truly in love. I just wanted more. If like me you are constantly bombarded with what your family, friends or society think you should be doing with your life then I feel your pain girl.

There are times when I doubt myself and definitely question where my life is going. Is there something wrong with me? Should I be married? And then in my not so kind moments I take comfort in the horror stories about marriage and life.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay. It really is. I’m trying to tell you that you have the power to design your life in a way that makes you happy. This is of course so much easier said than done and we all struggle with it. Whilst you navigate through this maze of uncertainty just remember that life is for living. Your identity is much bigger than whether or not you have a ring on your finger. Love will come, and in the meantime be a badass at life.


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