PAYDAY WISHLIST!

WHAT WOULD I TELL A YOUNGER ME?

I don’t particularly like the idea of going back in time because I’m not sure that I want to change anything because quite frankly what if you just made things worse by altering what would have been the natural course of events to the best possible outcome of your life?

If I could however go back in time and give my younger self any advice it would be to forgive myself. I’ve always felt that I spent a lot of time in my early twenties beating myself up for human mistakes and ultimately punishing myself by simply existing and not fully living. I would however commend myself for pushing through on some very dark days and never staying down too long.

I would definitely tell myself (and forgive me for quoting charlamagne tha god’s father) that ‘you’re never as bad as they say and you’re never as good as they say’. I would tell a younger me this in attempts to stifle that ever demanding need I had growing up to live up to other people’s expectations.

I would tell a younger me that you don’t have to audition for a man’s love. You can be the prettiest, funniest and most energetic woman ever but you can’t force chemistry and you shouldn’t. I would most certainly tell a younger me sex isn’t something a man takes from you and there is no shame in being a sexual being. I would tell the younger me reading Cosmos ‘top thirty tips on finding your dream man’ is a ton of BS.

I would tell my younger self that your circle does indeed get smaller the older you get. That it’s okay to fight with your ride or die friends but ultimately people who care about you won’t let you down. I would also remind myself that sometimes I am the biggest dickhead and saying sorry is the grown woman thing to so when you mess up.

Maybe I would tell my younger

Finding time for Passion

I’ll admit the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed sometimes means I don’t do all the things I really want to do. I spend an overwhelming amount of time in bed some months because the thought of actually doing stuff is exhausting. I juggle my time between exercise, a full time job, spending time with friends and family and blogging and vlogging.

The daily struggle of competing wants and needs means sometimes the things I love the most have to take a back seat. I would love to be way more creative, take my camera out more try out different things and ultimately pursue all my passions.

I’ve found myself on the ever familiar ‘what do I want to do with my life’ merry -go-round but I’m confident I will find a way to make time for my passions and make it what I want and need it to be. I used to love entering writing competitions and submitting articles for blogs and websites and I certainly don’t do that enough and that’s something I’m definitely going to change.

In light with pursuing my passions I’m definitely hoping to be more confident in articulating what I want and working on my skills. Kind of like that ‘taking back the power’ post I wrote.

In short I want to make time to do all the shit that I love and do it with absolute confidence. Exercise more, do new things with friends, play with my nephews more, get more creative, vlog and blog more.

How do you find time for your passions?

Body Positivity- Have we lost the plot?

To say that the relatively new body positive trend is a sensitive topic would be an understatement! From what I gather the premise of body positivity involves loving and accepting your body at any size; slim, overweight, thick, chunky, whatever you want to call it. The hash tag #bodyPosi is everywhere and some people are of the opinion that this is a promotion of obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle.

We are all aware that there is a cookie cutter standard of what main stream media considers beautiful and this definitely has to change. One man’s or woman’s meat is another man’s poison. We all can’t see ‘beauty’ in the same way and we don’t. Being body positive to me means loving your type of beauty and loving your size no matter what that looks like and no matter the size.

Now health and being slim are not synonymous. Health does come in many forms and does look like many different body types.  Overweight and obese people do not have to be shamed in society; they are not disgusting, not vile and not an embarrassment. Yes, the world is in the throes of an epidemic which is killing us, our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and our kids. We definitely have a responsibility to help each other, but where does help turn into hate and ridicule and where does body positivity turn into complacency and what some may consider turning a blind eye to a serious issue.

Very often when overweight or obese (usually) women post pictures on social media to talk about being body positive they are met with ridicule and quite harsh criticism about promoting obesity and disease. I often wonder if these people really care or in fact it is any of our business.

Are they concerned because they believe obesity is draining their country’s resources on funding conditions and health issues that are avoidable (I doubt that) or are they concerned that ‘being fat’ is the new thing and that it shouldn’t be. I don’t always believe that people really actually care. I feel like there’s usually some underlying feeling of being ‘better’ …. that feeling of ‘look I have self-control and you don’t’. That human desire to feel better about yourself by putting someone else down.

As outrageous as people like Nicole Arbour (Dear Fat People video) can be in their views on ‘Fat people’, I believe this mirrors exactly what society is thinking and feeling. I don’t think condescending advice does anything for body positivity, I think it’s quite uplifting that people don’t want to embrace media standards of beauty any longer and are more comfortable and confident in their own skin but I also think it’s important to not forget that although healthy looks different on everyone

Ultimately I call bullshit on anti-body positive protesters screaming ‘Ewww’ at the new wave of body confident individuals who have taken to the internet to spread fat acceptance. There is so much more to being a human being than a number on a scale and what you look like. If we spent more time unravelling the many layers of being human we will find that there’s so much more going on, so many other things to be ‘out raged’ about. For me being body positive means embracing my body in its entirety and reminding myself that I am worthy, beautiful and important. Being body positive for me includes treating my body with respect, the measure for which is my PERSONAL decision and mine alone.

FAMILY FUN DAY!

A few weeks ago Afrobeats Karaoke and Niche Entertainment teamed up with the mental health charity M.I.N.D to put together a family fun day to raise awareness about mental health and of course for some family fun and great food!

Good Afternoon West London!

Tips for feeling good!

Today's world is stressful and in the pursuit of making a living, staying afloat and in fact staying alive period, it's easy to see why so many of us neglect to properly take care of ourselves. Here are a few of my top tips for feeling good!

EAT A GOOD BREAKFAST

Nothing beats starting your day off with a nice hearty breakfast to fuel the mind and body. I always opt for a good balance of fat protein and carbs and find that a bowl of porridge with nuts and fruit sets me up nicely. It helps stave off cravings for high fat and processed foods.

EXERCISE

Exercise helps to release feel good hormones that make us happier and less stressed. I find a lot of comfort in working up a good sweat at the gym or sometimes just by taking a walk. Find an activity that you love and do it with a friend or even by yourself. Get ready to bask in a pool of serotonin and endorphin!

QUIET TIME

Make time for yourself  and by this i don't mean hours double tapping Instagram posts! Put your phone away, turn off the telly and try a digital detox. A lot of the stresses of the world are documented on social media and in 2016 you're only clicks away from being bombarded by the latest tragedy. All this definitely has an effect on us and every now and again it can be refreshing to switch off. Maybe indulge in some mediation, reading a book (hard copy for nostalgia)  or simply relax at home.

SPEND TIME WITH LOVED ONES

Nothing quite beats a chin wag with your best mates. Plan a day out dedicating to lots of laughs. If nights out on the town stress you out switch it up. Opt for something different. Stay in, stream a film or just a brew a few cups of tea and prepare to LOL.

Taking care of your well-being is paramount. It's always important that you put yourself first and not overwhelm yourself. Sometimes generic cosmo style tips simply don't work, sometimes simply taking a walk or hanging with friends isn't something you feel quite up to- and that's okay. Take baby steps and feel free to try new things as often as you can and as often as you feel like it!