Hershey's chocolate world, PA,USA

He’s just not that into you.

Forced conversations, waiting for call backs and being the first one to text always. You see the signs but then you ignore them. Maybe he’s busy, he has a lot on his plate and maybe I should have called an hour later.

Mate, he’s just not that into you. I know first-hand what it feels like to be rejected. Frankly we all do. Sometimes you meet someone and the chemistry is amazing (or so you think) and you think there’s no way this isn’t the real deal. You’re not thinking marriage just quite yet but you have a few dates already planned in your head and you’ve picked out matching Christmas jumpers.

Sometimes things just fizzle out and it’s nobody’s fault. You accept that it just wasn’t meant to be and keep it pushing. Sadly the fire is still ablaze on one end but the other party has swiftly hosed down their flame.

Being confident in yourself means that you believe that time spent getting to know you and time spent with you is something someone else should be excited about. If you respect others it is perfectly within your rights to want respect back.

Don’t force the flow. I’ll be your big sister/aunt and tell you, if he’s not making as much effort with you as you are with him; he’s just not that into you. Don’t feel guilty if this new revelation is rearing its head after intimacy with said person.

People have such different motives you can’t always read them. You may not have been looking for intimacy to begin with but exchanged it for affection or what you thought to be affection. You’re never too old, too pretty, too much of a ‘nice’ girl to be ‘taken advantage’ of.

You live and you learn. Your experience will not be the same with everybody you encounter but just remember to trust your gut. Keep it moving. Find someone who wants to talk to you, loves to read your texts and can’t wait until the next time they can see you. Whilst you’re pining after Mr. Only calls you after midnight someone is waiting to bask in your magic. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens to the best of us.

Namaste

V|P SPIN FOR PERFECT SKIN

I've often wondered about these spinning thingy thing things, as I like to call them and when @naturallyStefanie (youtube and Instagram) mentioned she's tried and loved the product I was sold! The set comes with four detachable heads: 2 for the face, a full body head and one for the feet. I love it all, especially the gentle head attachment for the face. I've used it twice today and honestly i dont have that gunky residue I would normally have if I just used face wash after taking off my make up. A definite win for me!

V|P SKIN FOR PERFECT SKIN

Juls' Bridal Shower

Diary of a Sankwas Girl

I like to call myself a story teller, because quite frankly that sounds miles better than calling myself a liar. 

I can't remember what year it was but there was an earthquake when I was growing up in Accra. I remember giving at least six different accounts of where I was when the earthquake happened. In one account I was at home with my parents in another I was out in the streets battling nature in all its ferocious glory.

Needles to say, fiction has always been waaaayyy more exciting than fact. Whenever life got a little bit too truthful I found a story and character to conveniently hide behind. Still not a liar just a young woman with an over active imagination.

But alas! it is this same wild imagination that has led to many a dark day. Imagining things that are simply not there. Predicting the worst when life hasn't even predicted the script that way. Or in relationships, forcing men into characters they never signed up for all because I'd written the story how I saw fit. I would subsequently get angry, frustrated or just check out. The plan these days is to save my stories for my note pad and writing competitions- you know for the readers who want to escape to 1940 where Rosa owns a brothel and is hiding from the king. I'm letting life do it's own story telling, I'm not forcing the story- I'm not forcing the script.

AYIA NAPA: CYPRUS!!

This year's girls holiday saw us take the sunny Island of Ayia Napa by storm! Definitely more wild than last year's madness in Marrakech we still found time to laze by the pool and have a wander at the beach.

The waters were clear and blue and the people were friendly! We stayed at the Panas Village Resort which had very nice staff but beware of going at 'off season' times because if you're a rowdy bunch (eye roll) like we are then you might get a very pissed off Russian couple with a baby who want to bite your head off at 3am in the morning.

All in all great great great trip! I would definitely go back for the sun, fresh food and free drinks at the bars (Just wink at the waiters and flash them), just kidding!

AYIA NAPA: CYPRUS!

Diary of a Sankwas girl

I often talk about having 'transport rage' jokingly of course. But today it hit me. I am ANGRY. In fact I'm livid. Or at least I can be. I didn't realise how angry I was until someone 'accidentally' grazed my arm as they hurried for their train. My reaction was anything but ladylike. And then a second later I felt guilty and had to ask myself why on earth I'm so angry.

Actually I might have realised yesterday that I was seething when a lady tried to cut the queue in Sainsbury's and I gave her the dirtiest look and reminded her 'there's a queue'- with a lot of head bopping might I add.

I don't know why I'm feeling the rage or have been feeling the rage in the last few days. Especially since I'm attempting to channel my inner zen and change the way I look at life. What I am liking though is the self- awareness these days. Being able to recognise that I feel a certain way, even if I don't know why. I'm not a fan of feeling like a 'victim'. If you can't change some shit around you, change your attitude towards it.

That said, I'm going to work hard on putting 'transport rage' on the back burner, and yes supermarket rage as well- lol. It's energy I can spend one feeling better, being better.

Namaste

Diary of a sankwas girl

Sometimes you find yourself doing things for the hell of it. Going through the motions they call it. Auto pilot, cruising..... you catch my drift. It's so easy to get caught up in the routine of life, the 'just doing' aspect. The flip side to being so overly aware that you're going through the motions is that you try so hard to not do that and you over complicate things. Well I do. I almost feel like I need to do something huge and crazy to prove that I'm not like the masses just waking up, earning a living, going home, making dinner etc.

In actual fact, the pressure to not go through the motions makes me more anxious. Which isn't always a bad thing, because I've come to almost accept anxiety, but it just makes you feel like 'something has to give'. These days my love life (or lack there of) is the bane of my existence. Trying to unravel all the complicated webs I've woven is not only daunting but exhausting. I kid you not when I say I fall in love everyday. I'm addicted to going back to the past even when I've convinced myself it is the selfish thing to do. I'm in a weird 'have I made the right decision/do I want to date/am I doomed' loop. It's making me loopy. But I digress. If you're on auto pilot it's really not the be all and end all of life. By all means drag yourself out of cruise control but don't force it. Baby steps- you're the pilot.

Diary of a Sankwas girl

Its the first of the month! I love the newness the first of each month brings. If you know me you know I'm not one to start a diet on a Monday or make too many new year resolutions. I believe you can start afresh any damn day you want to! But I do love the first of the months. It's a good way to press refresh on life and put things into perspective.

In the spirit of reducing anxiety and feeling overwhelmed I'm embarking on some sort of 'September Cleanse'. The detail of this are not too clear to me but I am keen to try different things. Step outside my comfort zone if you will. I'm used to being the loud mouth in any setting, the hub of crazy energy. Most of that being anxious energy might I add. So for 'September Cleanse' I am challenging myself to do things differently, to find strength in the quiet. I'm making the rules up as I go along.

I enjoy the chaos sometimes. I find comfort in the deep pockets of anxiety sometimes because It's really all I know. I might just give up after a few days and say fuck it? Or I might learn a thing or two about myself. I might even post more on here. Not making any promises.

Be still peeps

Namaste.

Diary of a Sankwas girl

I'll be the first to admit that I simply feel lost. I feel lost. I think I know why but then again it simply doesn't matter. I psyche myself up every morning with tried and tested mantras- come made up by me and some I've pulled off gold old cheesy motivational websites. For a few fleeting seconds I am filled with hope and confidence- 'it's going to be a good day' - i say to myself. And then as quickly as I've convinced myself that all is well that feeling washing over me again- I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

That said, who ever really knows what the hell they're doing all the time? You can't be self assured all the damn time can you? Well if it's possible then I've completely ignored that memo. Weirdly enough I find a tiny bit of solace in the despair. Amidst all the confusion I feel strangely safe. It doesn't even make sense to me, I know it doesn't make sense to you.

I'm plodding along at the gym and in my new job hoping that the need to succeed will grip me ever so tightly I'm only coming up for air ever so often. I had plans for the future- Plans for tomorrow, deadlines if you will, and with every passing day that these 'plans' fail to materialise I feel thrown off.

And then it hits me- one of the mantras I REALLY should be believing in is 'Planning is good, Allowing is better.' I can't make these anxiety laden plans and send then off into the universe and just expect life to travel in one direction at the same speed uninterrupted. I happily take the good and I accept the challenge of the not so pleasant. I can't predict the curve balls but I'm ready. Planning is good - Allowing is better

Italy! Chocolatinas in Rome and Naples